Kraybill: Let the Bridegroom come!

Dec 17, 2018 by

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Palestinian weddings can last for a week, as family and friends revel through rounds of anticipatory parties. When it’s finally time for vows, men convene at the groom’s home for one last celebration before leading him away to make promises.

A Palestinian groom, hoisted onto shoulders by celebrating male friends and family, is about to meet his bride at the wedding ceremony. — J. Nelson Kraybill

A Palestinian groom, hoisted onto shoulders by celebrating male friends and family, is about to meet his bride at the wedding ceremony. — J. Nelson Kraybill

I came upon a wedding in the West Bank north of Jerusalem at just such a moment. The village was a jubilant jam as clapping and laughing men crowded around the groom on a side street and spilled out onto the main thoroughfare. I approached on foot, and all warmly waved me in to join the ruckus. The groom and first man were on shoulders with arms aloft. Music! Drums! Dancing!

Elsewhere family and friends prepared and adorned the bride. If a couple is Christian, the groom’s family (without groom) bring the bride and bridesmaids to church, where all await arrival of the groom and the culminating ceremony. When vows have been made, somber ritual shifts again to celebration with hummus, baba ghanoush, falafel, stuffed grape leaves, tabbouleh, pita bread, rice, lamb, cake — and more dancing.

Weddings are huge events in Middle Eastern culture, and family reputation is at stake. No wonder Jesus turned water to wine at a Cana wedding feast. A family that needed to show generous hospitality faced the humiliation of empty goblets.

Jesus said the kingdom of heaven will be like 10 bridesmaids who carried lamps and went to meet the bridegroom (Matthew 25). Five were wise to fill their lamps with oil; five were foolish and did not prepare. The bridegroom was delayed until midnight, whereupon the foolish scurried away to buy oil. When they returned, the feast already was underway and doors shut.

What does it mean for us to be ready for the marriage supper of the Lamb, when Christ will bring justice and salvation to the world? Can we get beyond fixation on “rapture” and end-of-the-world Armageddon scenarios to see that God wants to bring a new heaven and a new Earth where shalom/salaam will prevail? Do we understand that we are to start living into that healing future now?

When John of Patmos pictures the end of this age as a wedding, the church is a bride clothed in fine linen, bright and pure. The linen is the “righteous deeds of the saints” (Rev. 19:8). We sinful mortals cannot earn salvation, but actions reveal our spiritual state.

After telling the story of bridesmaids, Jesus also likened the inbreaking kingdom of heaven to a property owner who put servants in charge while he traveled. The owner returned to severely punish his servants for poor management. How are we managing in planet care today?

Perhaps the Bridegroom already is present in our world — as an immigrant, or single parent, or displaced person in the West Bank, or refugee from proxy wars of superpowers. At final judgment, Jesus said, bewildered “goats” facing eternal punishment will protest, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?” (Matt. 25:45).

Come, Lord Jesus, and teach us justice to be ready for your coming.

J. Nelson Kraybill is a retired pastor, and president of Mennonite World Conference. See more biblical reflections and information on upcoming Holy Land tours at

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